Each week the CSPH answers anonymous questions we receive through our Fromspring. This week we are answering: Does erection size matter? What about flaccid penis size? Do women like to see bigger flaccid dicks? Also, how big is too big and how small is too small? Do girls have some kind of size preference?
It’s not uncommon for people to worry about their penis size. In fact, a study about penis size reveals that while most men (66%) thought their penis was average in size, only 55% of men were satisfied with their size and 45% wanted a bigger penis. Furthermore, these percentages contrasted greatly with women’s perceptions, with 85% of women reported being satisfied with their partner’s penis size. Despite the heteronormativity of the study, these results nevertheless reveal a lot about penis size expectations, satisfaction, and anxiety.
To answer your first question more specifically: erection size matters to some, but not to all. Different people have different preferences. That said, it should be noted that the average vaginal length during non-arousal is 3 to 4 inches, and while the vagina does lengthen and the cervix ascends during arousal, the vagina is not never-ending. In this sense, “the bigger the better” mindset isn’t always indicative of a person’s actual capacity to fit large penises in their body. Moreover, while anuses have a greater depth and thus are able to fit longer objects (with enough of lubrication and preparation), smaller penises can make anal sex easier and even more enjoyable for some, especially for the inexperienced.
Also, erection size is not the end-all of sexual pleasure. There are many forms of sexual or sensual activity that do not involve the penis. Indeed, even when engaging in penetrative sex, erection size is only one of the aspects that affects the overall experience (others being speed, thrusting technique, etc.)
As for flaccid penis size… This topic can be a source of anxiety for many, but it should be stated that there is no correlation between flaccid penis size and the size of an erect penis. As the saying goes, people can be growers or they can be show-ers.
Furthermore, it would be impossible for me to say what women in general prefer for penis size, flaccid or erect, as I am only one person. That said, I would suggest embracing whatever size you are and figuring out what sexual skills and acts make you stand out to your partners. People’s preferences vary, so you should seek to determine how to pleasure the people you are interested in and/or already engaging in sexual behavior with, instead of trying to be the perfect fit for everyone, which is impossible. Indeed, there is no general understanding of “too big” or “too small,” although size can affect the types of sexual activity that are comfortable and/or desirable for all parties involved. If size is an issue on either end of the spectrum, I would suggest finding others ways to engage in the aforementioned sexual activity, either by utilizing toys or experimenting with lubrication and position. For example, certain positions allow for deeper or more shallow thrusts, while other positions narrow the vaginal canal, creating a tighter/fuller sensation during penetrative sex.