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Sunday Sex School: Butt Stuff

August 02, 2015
The Posting Maven

Sunday Sex School is back! This month, anal play is front and center. What is it? Who does it? Why is it both glorified and stigmatized? Keep a look out every Sunday in August for a new installment in this series!

SSS-Butt1Ah, ass play. That mainstream yet not-quite-mainstream sex act that everyone seems to know about, but no one wants to talk about. As our society (slowly) becomes more comfortable with sex, people are seeking out more information about how to add variety in the bedroom or simply refine their sexual techniques. Anal play is an old favorite for those looking to branch out, but not too far, sexually-speaking. Don’t be fooled though — anal play is not simply something you can dive into. At the very least, you’ll need some lube 🙂

WHAT IS ANAL PLAY?

Anal play extends far beyond the penis-in-anus model most people imagine. For one thing, penetration can be done with a dildo in lieu of a penis, and gender and sexual orientation doesn’t have much sway here, as the only requirement for penetration is the possession of butthole. You can be a straight penis-owner and like to be penetrated, you can be a genderqueer person who enjoys penetrating partners, you can be a sexually fluid vagina-owner and enjoy penetrating and being penetrated by your partners depending on your mood  — the possibilities are endless. A partner isn’t even needed to engage in anal play; you can have just as much fun solo as you can in pairs.

Furthermore, anal play is not restricted to a penis or penis-like object being thrust into an anus. Fingering or fisting are variations on penetration that may provide more pleasure, due to the dexterity of digits in comparison to a penis or dildo. The umbrella of anal play also includes the use of anal toys such as butt plugs, prostate massagers, and anal beads. And, if penetration or being penetrated isn’t your style, there’s also analingus, which is essentially oral sex for the derriere.

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL with the Butt?

The anus is an erogenous zone in the body that is often overlooked or avoided by some people. Like the penis and clitoris, the anus is full of thousands of nerve endings that makes the anus a pleasurable spot.

For vagina-owners, anal penetration gives stimulation to the G-Spot from a different angle, providing an intense orgasm. If a vagina-owner is having a hard time achieving an orgasm, sometimes stimulating the anus can make it easier to experience one.

For penis-owners, anal penetration gives stimulation to their prostate gland, or P-spot (located inside the anus, towards the stomach).  Stimulating the prostate gland can cause a penis-owner to have a full-body orgasm. Some also enjoy anal stimulation because it stimulates the base of their penis and their P-spot simultaneously.

The key to anal play is to make sure both partners are relaxed, comfortable, and well-informed about what they are doing. Anal play has recently come more into vogue, but don’t get swept away in the excitement solely for your partner’s sake. Make sure that you really want to explore anal play on an individual level, and then take each step slowly so that the experience is the best it can be.

Though anal play has become glorified recently as the cool ‘new’ sex move, it is also, oddly, still stigmatized. If you discuss anal play with friends or others, be aware that you may run up against some judgemental reactions. If it helps, however, know that according to a 2011 survey among adults 25-44, 36% of women and 44% of men have had anal sex, a percentage that has likely only increased since!

WHAT DO all these butt terms mean?

The following terms may come in handy when discussing anal or learning more about what may excite you in particular.

  • Rimming: using one’s mouth, lips, and tongue on the anal rim of another.
  • Pegging: when a vagina-owner anally penetrates a penis-owner with a strap-on.
  • P-spot: the ‘male G-spot,’ the prostate gland.
  • Anal beads:a series of attached beads designed for anal insertion.
  • Butt plugs: sexual aids meant for anal insertion, typically shorter than dildos and with a flanged end for safety.
  • Prostate massagers: sexual aids designed to stimulate the prostate when inserted anally.


This Sunday Sex School series will explain the essentials of anal play, will debunk many of the popular misconceptions surrounding anal play, and will provide a how-to guide for buying lube and anal toys. Come back next week to learn more!

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