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What’s a person to do when they’re feeling a little saucy and there isn’t anyone around to play with?

They get down with themselves.

What exactly does that mean? Well, let’s explore other ways of stating what we are leading up to: playing with the pearl, cuddling the kitty, dialing the rotary phone, jerking the chicken, feeling the fur, jillin’ off, tiptoeing through the twolips, checking your oil or self-pleasuring. All of which sound a little more fun than the clinical word “masturbation.”

Whichever phrase you use, know this: over 80% of women and 99% of men do it, it’s very healthy for the body, and it helps you have orgasms with your play partners!

So, in celebration of sexual pleasure, let’s dive into some key points of the clandestine topic: pleasuring yourself.

Does the Body Good

Self-pleasurement is oh-so-good for the body and here are just a few documented scientific study findings on what “dialing the rotary phone” can do for you.

  • It provides relief from menstrual cramps. No more trips to the drugstore!
  • It’s a natural sleep aid. The most common time of day people play is right before bedtime.
  • It reduces yeast infections. Making vaginas happier all over the world.
  • It speeds up wound healing. Cuts on the body actually HEAL FASTER when people masturbate.
  • Women who masturbate are more likely to have orgasms with their partners. If you know what works, you can direct others during playtime.
  • It increase your sexual awareness, giving you the opportunity to discover what turns you on – the sensations and movements that work best to give you the greatest of sexual gratification.
  • It gives you stronger orgasms by strengthening the muscles in the pelvic area.
  • It can help reduce premature ejaculation. By learning to recognize when the body is getting ready to climax, one can start to change stimulation techniques to prolong sexual pleasure.
  • It can give you different types of orgasms. Stimulating different parts of the body can enhance the types of sensations you experience during orgasm.

There are many ways that people choose to jill/jerk off. Some of them are free, like using the water from the faucet in your bathtub (lukewarm water please!); some are clandestine, like using the vibrating electric toothbrush; some are more traditional, like the silver bullet; and some are talked about even less than this general topic, like putting something safely up your butt.

You don’t need to be like Goldilocks here, one may not be the “perfect” choice for you but the beauty of masturbation is you have your whole life to figure out what you like.

Fantasy is Key

Talking about physical pleasure is fine and dandy, but one thing you have to be sure not to forget is that sticking your hands down your pants without incorporating your mind is likely to get your nowhere.

What makes you feel randy? Is it the lure of the pen? Pick up an erotic novel at your local bookstore or scour through erotic stories found online.

Are you a visual person? In this day and age you have dozens of sex positive, ethically made visual materials to choose from. Candida Royalle, Tristan Taormino, and Madison Young or Good Releasing Films are adult movie directors that make fabulous sex positive porn. Becoming ever more popular are pay per minute downloaded videos found on Crash Pad Series or Hot Movies for Her.

Hardcore action not your scene? Maybe you’d like to get a racy video like “9 ½ weeks” or “Secretary” from Netflix.

Or perhaps you prefer to hear a saucy story and make your own visual scene? Do you like the sound of a good spanking? iTunes holds erotic story telling tales you can download or if you are a traveler, pick up a CD to play in your car and make that road trip memorable! There is something out there for every type of taste!

So find something tame, wild, and/or politically incorrect and use it. The great thing about fantasies is that NO-ONE will know what you are thinking about; you won’t have a stamp on your forehead that declares your sexual thought preferences.

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